Struggling with Struggling Readers? New Book: The Reading Turn-Around

Finally…these things take so long…

but the book I wrote with Lane Clarke and Grace Enriquez is finally in print:

The Reading Turn-Around: A Five Part Framework for Differentiated Instruction (Teachers College Press)

and you can even pre-order at Amazon for a great price!

And here’s what some really smart folks are saying about it:)

“This is a masterwork that is simultaneously practical and groundbreaking…The model these authors use to familiarize teachers with the essential elements of reading practice is clear and beautifully illustrated with stories of children you’ll swear you know.”
—From the Foreword by Ellin Oliver Keene, national staff developer, co-author of Mosaic of Thought: The Power of Comprehension Strategy Instruction

“This deeply intelligent and compassionate book provides teachers with detailed classroom scenarios and dozens of teaching tools for engaging all readers. The authors demonstrate how to help all students become motivated and powerful meaning-makers of a wide variety of texts.”
—Katherine Bomer, Literacy Consultant, K-12, author of For a Better World: Reading and Writing for Social Action

“Unlike the plethora of books that claim to provide teachers with powerful teaching strategies to help children who struggle with reading, The Reading Turn-Around actually accomplishes this. The book is full of detailed case studies of students that teachers will recognize and strategies that teachers can use. There is no other book like it in the field.”
—Catherine Compton-Lilly, Assistant Professor, University of Wisconsin–Madison

when children are philosophers

Children see, feel, and hear things so differently from our own adult-ridden, de-sensitized, in-a-hurry ways of moving through the world. I’m always in awe at the philosopher-like manner with which many children engage the world. Many years ago a first grade child in my classroom who had been diagnosed with severe learning disabilities wrote a very simple book. I’ll write the words here (I memorized them long ago), marking the “pages” with line breaks:

This is a line.

It is straight.

It is gray.

The line is a letter waiting to be formed.

It needs a writer to be born.

Now if that doesn’t give you the willies, then you’re even more calloused with adult ideas than I am.

Of course. The line is in waiting, and it is waiting patiently, and yet it may never be born through the formation of a letter by a writer, but then again it might be born through a writer doing very important things – or perhaps unimportant things or even horrible things. And even after all those things have been said and written, there is still another line, straight and gray, waiting to be formed into a letter, to be born by a writer.

Some of my most intimate moments with my little girl are made of philosophy as well. Always a result of her contemplative ways, mind you, and rarely mine since I’m often preoccupied with getting things “done”: breakfast, teeth, clothes on, dinner, homework, cleaning.

Tonight I just wanted her to get to sleep.

That’s all.

Just close your eyes and go to sleep.

But then the philosopher in her stops me in my tracks and after an hour-long conversation she’s fast asleep and I’m writing at my computer newly awakened by her insights about the world, about love, and about living with fear knowing the fragility of each of us. Here are some snippets:

Mom, but sometimes I don’t want to close my eyes. Because as soon as I close my eyes time passes. And I don’t want time to pass because that’s the time I could have been spending with you.

And I know I don’t have forever with you (now her tears begin to flow – this is the other thing with philosophy, it moves you in ways that few other things can).

I just know there are so, so, so, so many ways I can lose you. And I don’t want to lose you. Ever. Not ever.

And sometimes I don’t feel that important to you. Like when my foot was really hurt at school last week and you didn’t come to pick me up.

(I talked here about how I continue to learn about how to be a mother and a person in the world and that this was certainly one mistake – among many others – I had made. If I would have known her foot was as badly hurt as it indeed was, because of a reaction to an ant bite, I would have absolutely picked her up from school. I really had no idea.)

So I tell her that I’ll make more mistakes and sometimes they will hurt her, and to know in the moment that it’s probably a mistake mommy’s making and I’ll be so sorry for it later.

And she continues,

I want you to know I’m really sorry for all the times I haven’t been as good as I could have been.

And I know she is, in this moment, deeply sorry. For her consciousness in these moments of conversation and contemplation have reminded her of the fragility of life and human relationships.

And her consciousness has also reminded me of the fragility of life and human relationships.

I’ll try to do better in the next moment, and living through the words of child philosophers reminds me to do so while also giving me guidance.

That’s all I can do.

A terrific short piece on the purpose of the university…

Drew Gilpin Faust, president of Harvard, had a great piece in the New York Times Book Review Sunday – The University’s Crisis of Purpose

She writes “Universities are meant to be producers not just of knowledge but also of (often inconvenient) doubt. They are creative and unruly places, homes to a polyphony of voices.” I love this characterization of universities, and these are the very reasons why I love my job, and why I wanted my job in the first place. But it also creates a bit of a conundrum when I work collaboratively with people who are not in universities, but working in institutions where a polyphony of voices is not seen as creative and generative but dangerous. “Unruly” for many institutions (including K-12 schools) is often read as uncooperative, not a team player, and thus, not a practice that is rewarded. So when I’m sitting with a group of folks in various settings and begin to feel uneasy about the intense focus on the here-and-now or the “truths” of such-and-such practice, I live the impossibilities of the work we do in universities, “…to be practical as well as transcendent; to assist immediate national needs and to pursue knowledge for its own sake; to both add value and question values,” as Faust puts it.

Faust argues that perhaps the university has become too intertwined with the market world and the immediate demands of society and has forgotten about our work as “critic” and “conscience” for society. She refers specifically to the economic crisis and her wondering if “universities – in their research, teaching, and writing – have made greater efforts to expose the patterns of risk and denial? Should universities have presented a firmer counterweight to economic irresponsibility? Have universities become too captive to the immediate and worldly purposes they serve? Has the market model become the fundamental and defining identity of higher education?”

I wonder myself, and I also draw parallels with education.

Universities find themselves accepting contracts to write test materials, score tests, and engage with school policies that continue to narrow the nation’s public education curricula and “purpose.” We (broadly defined) are perhaps “too captive to the immediate and worldly purposes” of education and will droves of writers in ten, twenty, thirty years be wondering where we were and what we were doing while this crisis crippled our public school systems?

It’s very hard, at least for me, to figure out both how to be friends and colleagues with folks in the K-12 system, be supportive of public education as a parent and professor, and still do the “job” that I truly believe in, which includes intelligent, informed, and public research and criticism of a system that continues to fail droves of kids and families.

Sometimes I find myself acquiescing to expectations of the system that is broken – and I hate it. Sometimes I find myself engaging deeply with the kind of critique and critical consciousness work that is my passion, and someone else hates it (and sometimes this includes a friend or colleague who is deeply committed to and embedded within k-12 education) – and I hate that too.

Faust’s brief piece reminded me of why I love what I do. Even when my actions may seem and feel contradictory as I weave between and stumble among the important purposes of a university at large, and one faculty member finding her way.

Fear and Rage over Obama’s Speech to Students

Fear not, dear citizens, for President Obama’s speech to public school students will not be the introduction of socialist values to public schools. Indeed, the very creation of public education did that for us all many decades ago.

And do not worry, respectable neighbors, that President Obama’s speech to students will indoctrinate young minds according to the whims of our federal government. One speech cannot outweigh the billions of dollars spent annually on federally-supported curricular materials to prepare our students to fill in the correct bubbles on federally-mandated tests. The indoctrination is well under way.

No fretting either, concerned parents, about the potential loss of freedom and liberty in our schools or society due to the President’s remarks next week. We incarcerate more people than any other country on the globe and we have (nearly) successfully handcuffed teachers to scripted classroom routines and rigid curriculum. There is nothing President Obama can say in one speech that will change this state of our freedom and liberty one way or the other.

Censorship teaches fear and extremism. Expecting that all people living in a democratic society can, and should, engage in informed and thoughtful dialogue around issues important to our local, regional, national, and global lives teaches one of the responsibilities of living in a democratic society.

If lively dialogue happens in schools and homes next week as a result of Obama’s speech, then we can all be relieved that our youth can do what’s necessary to resist indoctrination and remake freedom and liberty – and that our schools might actually be a powerful part of that educational experience.

Reading: The ongoing national focus

Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly
Just a little change
Small to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared...

Would any of you literacy people out there ever think you would find an article that references Diane Ravitch, Lucy Calkins, Catherine Snow, Elizabeth Moje, and Nancie Atwell all agreeing on something??? Well, okay, Diane Ravitch didn’t admit to agreeing, but in her steadfast clinging to Moby Dick she also didn’t completely disagree, did she? choice (lower case ‘c’) seems to be a common intersection…

Here it is in today’s NY Times – The Future of Reading: A New Assignment: Pick Books You Like

Imagine a FRONT PAGE article in the New York Times on Reading Workshop, self-selected reading, and schools setting aside 40 minutes a day for students to read!!! I shook my head and did several double-takes before convincing myself it was real. And all kinds of literacy folks are cited agreeing that student choice, time for self-selected reading, and empowering children to be in control of their reading WORKS in more ways than one. (I won’t debate the definition of working here, but you all know we all have our own ideas of what “works” actually means)

This is the 4th article in a series on teaching/learning reading (The Future of Reading) in the Times, including:

Literacy Debate: Online R U Really Reading?

Using Video Games as Bait to Hook Readers

In Web Age, Library Job Gets Update

**And please don’t over-analyze my use of Beauty and the Beast…the song just came rushing into my mind as I read the article. Don’t ask me why – I have no idea and I refuse to psychoanalyze it or anything else. Seriously, I didn’t have any person or people in mind as “Beauty” or “Beast” so don’t “read” anything onto it – just thought it was a funny intro to the article:)

congrats – this is the first time I’ve liked the readings

…said a grad student in a recent class (on teaching in the elementary grades) meeting after reading the first week’s assigned readings. my response? congrats to you:) several other students “admitted” to usually skimming readings in the past but said they couldn’t take their eyes off these readings they were so interesting.

and what were we reading?

two chapters from mike rose’s The Mind at Work: Valuing the Intelligence of the American Worker

maxine greene’s The Ambiguities of Freedom

a long chapter from the incredible (and gorgeous) 1978 book by michael thurmond: A Story Untold: Black Men and Women in Athens History

and a chapter from To Remain an Indian by  K. Tsianina Lomawaima and Teresa L. McCarty

You might be wondering what these readings have in common to be assigned in the same week…our question was “What is the purpose of education?” – and these pieces together provoke lots of great dialogue.

to go on

tears well

muscles ache

lips quiver

voices crack

minds wonder

how it will be done.

shoulders droop

arms wrap

chests heave

knees buckle

under the pressure.

and yet

mouths smile

hands wave

heads nod

feet move

to go on

as tears well.

Beautiful Pedagogy…Foxfire Style

A bit of inspiration for all of us trying to stay grounded in our big fight over public school education and working toward a better society for everyone.

Click here for information on Foxfire

And here for the Foxfire magazine

Thanks to Lew and JoBeth for telling me about the NY Times piece…

Jails, Prisons, Incarceration Rates, and Public Cost

I wrote this in response to a story in our local paper about a proposed new jail that would cost approximately $100 million when all is said and done. But the issue is a significant one for everyone in our country – I’ll try to add some hot links to this later so you can access the reports I used to gather information.

New jail “critical”? Let’s look at some facts…

International and national rates of incarceration
Bear with me readers, it might not seem immediately clear why a new jail in Athens-Clarke County (or any other place) is not necessarily what’s critical for our community, but at least by the end of these comments we will have more to consider as public citizens than we do with a narrow-visioned and short-sighted argument for a bigger facility to house those who have become enmeshed in the criminal justice system.

The United States incarcerates more people – and the highest percentage of its population – than any other country in the world. At the beginning of 2008, the U.S. had 2,319,258 people in federal, state, or local jails/prisons; China was a distant second in the world with 1.5 million people incarcerated; Russia in a distant third place at 870,000 people incarcerated. In a surprising twist, countries our government and public often points fingers at for human rights violations are far behind the U.S. in incarceration rates. According to statistics in 2007 and 2008, the U.S. was incarcerating a stunning 760 people per 100,000, Iran was at 222 per 100,000 people, South Africa was at 329 per 100,000 people, Russia – 626 per 100,000 people, Saudi Arabia – 178 per 100,000, and China – 119 per 100,000. What about countries we consider allies and comparable regarding human rights policies? In 2008, Canada incarcerated 116 people per 100,000 and France was at 222 per 100,000 people. Sweden, perhaps not surprisingly, was at a very low 74 people incarcerated per 100,000 people in its population.

The U.S. hit a startling figure in 2008 with 1 in 100, or more precisely, more than 1 in 99.1 people in the country incarcerated with the state of Georgia consistently ranking near the top for incarceration rates in the United States. In 2005, Georgia was ranked 2nd highest when 1,021 people per 100,000 were incarcerated, and according to 2007 data, Georgia had a rate 21% higher than the national average of incarcerated adults per 100,000. Just for those of you wondering, Louisiana, Alabama, Mississippi, Texas, and Oklahoma are always among the top of the incarceration list as well.

Even more shocking than the high percentage of our country’s incarcerated population is the racial and ethnic differences within those numbers. At mid-year, 2008:
a. 727 White males were incarcerated per 100,000 White males
b. 1,760 Hispanic males were incarcerated per 100,000 Hispanic males
c. 4,777 Black males were incarcerated per 100,000 Black males
d. 1 in 355 White women aged 35-39
e. 1 in 297 Hispanic women aged 35-39
f. 1 in 100 Black women aged 35-39

In 2008, a shocking 1 in 9 Black men aged 20-34 were behind bars, and 1 in 15 Black men over the age of 18 were behind bars. This evidence points to serious racism in our country’s incarceration rates, intersecting with classism given that approximately 90% of all people of all races being arrested are living below the poverty level at the time of their arrest.

At what cost?
Readers can ascertain the human, familial, and social costs of the above facts themselves. Here I will focus a bit on the financial costs that have skyrocketed. Between 1987 and 2007, for example, states’ increase in spending on higher education was 21% while the increase in spending on corrections was 127%. In 2008, $1 in every $15.00 of states’ budgets of discretionary money was being used for corrections, and in the state of Georgia, every dollar spent on higher education equaled 50 cents spent on corrections. There is no doubt that in the nearing $100 billion industry of corrections, public priorities such as education, healthcare, parks and recreation, transportation, infrastructure, and so on have suffered.

Studies have also found that child support and restitution payments become almost nonexistent when someone responsible for such payments is incarcerated. So, it seems that we put people behind bars, take away their ability to work and earn money to be responsible for their debts, take away their ability to work and earn money and pay taxes into an increasingly small pool of money, and make it harder for them to find work after they are released because of the stigma of having served time in jail or prison. Even for those people less inclined to concern themselves with the social and moral ramifications of incarceration, everyone can certainly see the extreme economic cost to every single taxpayer and person in our country.

Our local tax dollars

For SPLOST 2011, voters will be asked to approve an $80 million bond sale to pay for the jail expansion and the following November they will be asked whether to pay back the debt with future sales tax revenue (about $20 million in interest). That’s approximately $100 million to make room for even more than Georgia’s already high numbers of people incarcerated.

On the other hand, a mere $40 million will be requested for an expansion of the Classic Center – an investment that would reportedly create “700 construction jobs and 200 permanent jobs, and bring $6.6 million into the community annually.” Wow – what could $100 million do for Athens-Clarke County? Surely there are other “big-ticket” items that could generate jobs for our neighbors and community friends who don’t have any prospects right now. Could another big project mean 1,400 construction jobs and at least 400 more permanent jobs?

Experts have said that rather than asking for taxpayer dollars to pay for corrections, it would be better public policy to invest taxpayer dollars into things that are going to transform the economy, such as education and diversifying the economy. In Clarke County we are furloughing teachers and asking families to foot the bill for long and expensive school supply lists. Other counties are cutting field trips altogether and anything else that seems non-essential. If we want to keep kids in school and prepare them to be the innovative leaders we need tomorrow in Athens and far beyond, it is absolutely essential that we not consider a $100 million project to incarcerate more of their family members now and more of them in the future. We could use that money to stimulate our local and regional economy, ensuring there is work for all of us in the community now and in the future. Ensuring work and legitimate economic opportunity will surely result in a decrease of need for a new jail. And we could use the saved money to engage our youth in powerful ways – helping them see education beyond the four walls of school and inspiring them to see how they can be positive change agents in our society. That will take field trips, of course, and lots of other innovative practices that schools don’t have money for now.

Tough questions for Clarke County and others around the country

Given that the increased number of people being incarcerated is not correlated to an increase in crime, but rather change in policies governing admissions and lengths of stay in jails/prisons; Given the horrific differences between the rates of incarceration depending on race and socioeconomic status; And given the evidence of a skyrocketing jail/prison population and an exponentially increasing bill for housing and caring for incarcerated people, it is absolutely critical that taxpayers ask local, state, and national governments some tough questions:
1. What are the county/state statistics on race/ethnicity and incarceration?
2. What are the county/state statistics on socioeconomic status and incarceration?
3. If those statistics are alarming, how does the county/state explain such differences in incarceration across races?
4. If those statistics are alarming, what is the county/state actively doing to prevent the incarceration of Blacks and Hispanics at such high rates?
5. How are zero-tolerance and three-strikes policies impacting the admissions and lengths of stay in jails/prisons?
6. What is the loss in potential local and state tax income for every person incarcerated?
7. What is the cost in relation to child support and retribution payments for every person incarcerated?
8. What are the statistics regarding recidivism and an overall decrease in crime for every person incarcerated?

A new jail, housing more people, will cost Athens-Clarke County far more than the $100 million dollars that will simply get a physical building. The real cost in dollars and cents, as well as the cost to our local public priorities, has surely not yet been calculated.

*Statistics and other information gathered from The National Institute of Corrections, The International Centre for Prison Studies, The Federal Bureau of Justice Statistics, and The Pew Center on the States.

What do I really want out of school as a parent?

After a nearly two hour ordeal with my seven-year-old newly-second-grader Hayden this morning, who announced she was quitting school and refused to get on the bus (again – for regular readers who know this has happened in the past), we made a deal that I hope buys me some time, and I quote:

“When you can read the newspaper, talk to me intelligently about everything in it, locate all the places mentioned in the articles on a map and globe and know something about them, then we can talk about doing something other than school. Deal?”

Deal.

“But I can already read the newspaper,” she said – though that’s not entirely true.

“Yes, but you can’t have an intelligent conversation about it yet,” my witty response.

I was desperate this morning. We tried 30 minutes of home-schooling (please just home-school me! she said), but that didn’t work. She tried to convince me to take her to my classes at UGA (I’m little but I can learn that stuff too!), but I told her she wasn’t allowed to go to UGA without going to another school first. I had an appointment at 9:30 and the clock was ticking…so I made the deal out of desperation and without giving any thought to what I was saying.

And now I sit, thinking about that deal.

Is that really what I want my child to get out of school? Because if it is, I’m afraid it doesn’t usually happen.

But think about it – the newspaper covers religion, politics, general science, mathematics, social issues, ecology, biology, health, nutrition, technology, innovation, medicine, entertainment, the arts, local issues, global issues, war, genocide, social relations, civics, sociology, psychology, geography, sports, education, and on and on and on and on.

And if one could read and speak intelligently about all these things – wouldn’t we have hit the mark?

So perhaps this is what education boils down to for me – at least today – and I’ll stick to my deal and see how much time it buys me.

But she better be doing a lot of studying up at home if she hopes to reach this point, because I rarely see a newspaper in schools.

I just loooovvve Barbara O’Connor

I cried this afternoon.

Yes, a “children’s chapter book” hooked me from the first sentence and I read until the final word.

And cried.

And laughed.

And smiled – a real, genuine, can’t stop my muscles from doing what they’re doing smile.

I read Me and Rupert Goody this afternoon and had to tell you all – again – that Barbara O’Connor is an author I’ve been looking for for many many years. Too bad she wasn’t around when I was a kid…

I’ve already shared some Barbara O’Connor titles I discovered last summer on past posts, and I’ve read two more of her books already this summer:

Me and Rupert Goody (1999)

How to Steal a Dog (2009)

Scholastic must’ve recently discovered her as well – How to Steal a Dog is published by Scholastic and it’s gotten a lot of attention via school book fairs and other media. This surprised me, actually, since I find O’Connor’s books to be beautifully written and set in working-class or poor communities where issues of race, gender, dis/Abilities, religion, work, age, family structures, morals, and intelligence are richly woven into the lives of the characters. Not your typical Scholastic book – but I’m glad she’ll have a wider audience of readers now and maybe, just maybe, more kids will be introduced to diverse working-class and poor lives through her narratives.

I read O’Connor’s books to Hayden, my seven-year-old (and read them to her as a six-year-old as well), and I have heard of teachers using them in grades 3-8 depending on the book and the purpose. I recommend them for all ages of readers, and truly enjoy reading them on my own. I laugh, I cry, I shake my head, and I can’t put them down.

Social class back in the Times

Barbara Ehrenreich wrote a gorgeous piece in the New York Times about “the economy” and its effects on the already-struggling-to-make-ends-meet-in-the-good-times people.

Jane Van Galen has it linked on her blog along with some excellent quotes and pointed commentary. (Thanks to Andrea N. for telling me about it on Jane’s blog!)

Ehrenreich’s piece is the first in a series – so let’s hope the next ones are just as straight forward and educational (at least to those who don’t know it already).

NYT often has great pieces on social class – one series ended up as a great little book I’ve used in courses, Class Matters.

Cheating on State Tests? Are We Surprised?

A friend in Dallas sent this article to me today:

All 8th graders in a Dallas school district must retake the state test because of “irregularities.”

And it reminded me of the probe in Atlanta this year as well as across at least four districts across Georgia:

Principal resigns and Assistant Principal is re-assigned during investigation into cheating on the state tests in Atlanta

State of Georgia says students didn’t cheat but were cheated by adults who did change answers in four districts

When any one “test” is valued higher than other measurements, you can guarantee that test will be corrupt and invalid from the beginning. The cheating by adults doing whatever it takes to save their jobs and their schools in this ridiculous historic moment we find ourselves in has been going on since the beginning of the No Child Left Behind Act:

And we thought cheating was bad in 2007?

And with my own daughter telling me that one of the reading passages was “just too long” so “I decided to guess the answers” – we see why teachers and other adults would WANT to cheat. They know what kids can do – they know kids are smart – they know that the stupid test with its insane rigidities, weirdly stated questions, strange reading selections, and “regularities” such as no talking, no vomiting, no looking around, no eye-balling, no gestures, no crying, no walking, no peeing, no eating, no drinking, and you must wait for everyone to finish before you move, create a context where most kids cannot, and do not, perform their best.

Can we just admit that we’ve made a huge mistake by tying these state test scores to federal rewards and punishments – and to children’s promotion or retention fate?

If you don’t know about Fair Test already – check it out. It’s one of dozens and dozens of organizations working against the misuse and abuse of testing instruments and test-takers.

Georgia’s Promotion/Retention Policies – Advocating for Parents, Students, Teachers, and Administrators

We all know how ridiculous it is to decide a student’s fate on one test score. It doesn’t make any sense at all from an academic, social, emotional, or policy perspective. Teachers, students, and parents know best about how a student has progressed across a year – and if a teacher doesn’t know that, then she is not doing her job. I can’t get to this issue though – because kids’ lives are being ruined by unthoughtful decision-making about whether they should be promoted or retained. Wanna know the odds that a kid will finish high school if she or he is retained one time in their educational career? Not good…check out the statistics for yourself.

I’ve heard numerous stories about students in all grades being spontaneously “retained” at the end of the school year because – and only because – of the CRCT scores. And kids are carrying home this news on the last day of school – crying on school buses. This is regardless of how well the student has done all year.

Here are some facts about the Georgia state policy on promotion/retention:

THERE IS ONLY A STATE POLICY FOR 3RD, 5TH, AND 8TH GRADE regarding CRCT scores -

THERE IS NOT A STATE POLICY FOR OTHER GRADES regarding the CRCT scores – DO NOT LET SOMEONE TELL YOU THERE IS (or ask for it in writing – I can’t find it anywhere). That means that any last minute decision to hold back a child in K,1,2,4,6 based on CRCT scores is not substantiated in state policy – and parents, teachers, students should fight this decision if it is not in the best interest of the child.

For 3rd (READING SCORES ONLY – DOES NOT REQUIRE MATH SCORES), 5th, and 8th graders (BOTH READING AND MATH):

1 – The school district should have a local policy about how the CRCT is “weighted” in decisions of promotion and retention.

2 – The school district should have a local policy about the other factors that will go into deciding whether a child is promoted or retained.

ASK ABOUT THESE TWO POLICIES. ASK FOR THEM IN WRITING.

3 – If a child in 3,5, or 8th grade does not pass the CRCT, the family must be notified BY FIRST CLASS MAIL WITHIN 10 DAYS OF THE SCHOOL’S RECEIPT OF THE SCORES WITH THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION:

a) The below-grade level score on the CRCT

b) The specific re-tests to be given and testing dates

c) The opportunity for accelerated, differentiated, or additional instruction (this can be like summer school – but this is NOT mandatory for students to attend prior to retaking the test. It is only mandatory for the school to offer it).

d) The POSSIBILITY that the student might be retained for next year

IF THE STUDENT RE-TAKES THE TEST AND STILL DOESN’T MEET GRADE LEVEL EXPECTATIONS:

a) The principal may choose to retain the student – and if so, the student’s family must be informed BY FIRST CLASS MAIL of this decision, AND of the option of the parent/guardian or teacher to APPEAL this decision.

IF A PARENT/GUARDIAN OR TEACHER APPEALS THE DECISION:

a) A “placement committee” must be formed and convened to discuss information about the child from across the school year that one might not know from looking at the CRCT scores. This committee would be: the principal OR a designee, the family/parents/guardians/ (I would add other advocates), and the teacher or teacher(s) who know the student best in the subject of the CRCT. If a child receives special education – THE IEP COMMITTEE IS THE PLACEMENT COMMITTEE).

b) In addition to other things, the placement committee must establish ongoing assessments for the child in the next year to monitor her/his progress.

c) The decision to promote to the next grade must be unanimous.

BUT – IF IT IS NOT – THERE IS A WAY TO APPEAL THIS DECISION THROUGH THE LOCAL SCHOOL DISTRICT. CALL THEM AND ASK FOR THE POLICY IN WRITING AND ASK FOR SOMEONE TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU IN PERSON OR OVER THE PHONE AS WELL.

Listen – the No Child Left Behind Act has created a machine that eats up children, families, teachers, and administrators. CRCT is part of the machine. Everyone is working over-time to cover their own butts – and you’ll find VERY FEW PEOPLE going out of their way to save a child who is dangling over the edge getting ready to plummet into the grinder.

If you don’t do it – no one else will.

STAND UP FOR KIDS.

(ALL INFORMATION PULLED DIRECTLY FROM PROMOTION/RETENTION POLICY DOCUMENT “STATE BOARD RULE” 160-4-2-.11.PDF ON THE GEORGIA DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION WEBSITE. I have paraphrased most of this given the complex language of the original document – but I have also pulled some direct quotes. I have the full pdf if someone wants to contact me about getting it)

Hayden gets a response from the governor

After a long wait, Hayden finally received a response to the governor about her letter regarding the state tests. After reading it with me she asked, “what does that mean?” and I replied, “he’s defending the tests and probably won’t work to change them.” But we are both happy that someone did read and respond to her!
STATE OF GEORGIA

OFFICE OF THE GOVERNOR

ATLANTA 30334-0900

Sonny Perdue
GOVERNOR

Dear Hayden:

Thank you for writing me regarding our state’s efforts to provide a quality education for students and better prepare them for future success. I understand the concerns you have shared about Georgia’s testing program and I appreciate the opportunity to respond to you.

Georgia’s testing program measures the level of student mastery of the Georgia Performance Standards, identifiesstudents failing to master content and assists school systems in identifying strengths and weaknesses in order to implement more effective programs.

I believe we must provide the best possible learning environment for children to achieve in school. Experience has shown that a carefully prepared testing program can be a valuable tool to help evaluate the effectiveness of instruction and the progress of students. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and suggestions on this matter.

Reinventing Summer Camp and Schools…

Here’s a great piece about a super summer program offered at UGA and other places around the country that was published in the Athens Banner-Herald

And my response to the editor (let’s hope it gets published!):

“Reinventing Summer Camp – Reinventing Schools”

Yesterday I walked through crowds of children at Camp Invention held at UGA who were smiling, pondering, laughing, and talking as they worked at difficult challenges and pushed themselves and others to perform beyond what they could do alone.

In stark contrast, I had a conversation with a first grader today who is attending summer school because of low CRCT scores. His chin quivered and tears welled up in his eyes – he doesn’t want to go tomorrow; they’re doing stuff he already knows; he’s tired of school; he wishes school was at a park where he could learn fun stuff. I could only listen and say I was sorry, but I’m more than sorry. I’m angry about the disparities of educational opportunities offered to students who are assumed to be “creative” and those assumed to need “remediation.”

What if all summer school programs could build on decades of research that inform the premise of Camp Invention? How might this child feel different about attending school? Would he be smiling, pondering, laughing, talking, and working at difficult challenges with others that he couldn’t do alone?

I imagine he would.

Thankfully Clarke County is opening J.J. Harris Elementary School in the fall – a school promising to immerse all students in instruction typically reserved for those labeled  “gifted.” I hope, for the sake of this one child and thousands of others, that surrounding schools will take notice and reconsider their summer and academic year programs.

Let’s start reinventing schools too.

Stephanie Jones
Education Professor
University of Georgia

Creative wills to make money – know your rights:)

She stopped me in the parking lot of a convenient store and popped open her trunk, “Does your little girl like Barbie?”

“No, thank you,” I said.

“But look, it’s a great little basket – you have a sand bucket and shovel, some Barbie stickers and paper for writing. Cute, huh? Eight bucks.”

“Hmmmm…we really don’t need it.”

“Five bucks.”

“Okay. I’ll take it.”

I’m from a place where creative ways for a head of a family to make a buck are used by most people I know. Cutting someone’s grass, shoveling some snow, selling make-up, selling left over prescription pills, cutting hair, setting up a flea market booth, having a yard sale, fixing a car, repairing a roof, making and selling jewelry, taking someone’s picture, cleaning someone’s house, giving someone a ride for gas money, betting on a horse, playing pool, grooming someone’s dog, collecting aluminum cans, standing on the corner with a pizza advertisement, working at a food pantry to get the leftovers. You name it, I’ve seen it done, and done a lot of creative stuff myself to make money. And those were in good times.

Now times are less than good – and people have doubled and tripled their creative efforts to make money. I had never been stopped in a convenience store parking lot to buy a cute bucket for kids, nor have I ever seen so many yard sale signs, so many crafts laid out in front yards with “for sale” signs on them (I saw a really cool wooden clubhouse for kids in a yard that had been handmade – but it would have never made it back to Georgia), so many cars for sale in driveways, furniture sitting out with signs on it, and on and on and on and on and on.

It never ceases to amaze me how much hustle people have in them when the cards are down, how they do what they need to do to get food on the table and the rent paid, and how people shift money around from person to person, family to family to help others get food on the table and the rent paid.

My great uncle works in a food pantry and brings extra food to my grandma and her brother – he told me about all the “strangers” suddenly coming for food, not the usual folks who tended to be older and on social security drawing very small monthly checks. “It must really be bad,” he said.

Indeed.

And I think of the Barbie bucket I bought in the parking lot and the signs – dozens and dozens of signs – advertising items and services for sale. Hustlin’ we call it in my family – hustlin’ to make a buck – and so rarely does that hustle happen in the official economy, that one that is above ground, above the table, counted in government statistics and weekly reports. It seems to me more people are hustlin’ out in the open when they used to be more underground. But the underground economy is sagging too, so the creative efforts are coming out from everywhere. These are folks who have either rejected the official economy because of the devastatingly low wages (I mean, really, does anyone think you can feed yourself, much less a family, on $7.00 an hour?), bullshit red tape (have you applied for jobs lately? nearly everything – even foodservice – requires online applications), humiliating drug tests (does anyone really think that someone who smokes a joint on the weekend should not be allowed to cook a hamburger on Wednesday?), or have taken up hustlin’ as a second or third job (should it really take two or three jobs to live a modest life?).

But they know their rights, and they know they have the right, and the responsibility, to make money for rent and food, so they do it. And I also know that if the government could tax them on their Barbie bucket sales out of their trunk, it would. And that $5.00 sale, with a cost of items at at least $4.00 would leave a $1.00 profit, a .30 tax, and .70 left for her hustle. Not quite worth it…unless of course .70 is exactly what you need to buy that loaf of bread that will feed your kids half the week.

Reminds me of a verse from a song – Know Your Rights by The Clash:

And Number 2
You have the right to food money
Providing of course you
Don’t mind a little
Investigation, humiliation
And if you cross your fingers
Rehabilitation

How to Make School Not Suck #3 – Leave the state tests alone already!

#6 Stop going on and on about the state tests even AFTER they’re over! We already know the stupid tests have taken all the “real” education out of schools and they’ve taken attention away from real academic learning, inquiry, curiosity, democratic engagement, and authentic projects. But once they’re over, DROP IT! But noooooo, some schools can’t seem to do that. Many weeks after the tests were over and the scores were in, celebrations are held for the “highest scorers” and those who have “exceeded expectations” get public recognition, and some even certificates!  I mean, are you freaking kidding me??!! It’s not enough to torture kids for weeks or months prior to the test with test preparation, test cheers, pep rallies, homework, etc. etc. etc., but now the kids who didn’t simply “meet” expectations but “exceeded” them get recognized?! All this time you’ve been telling kids you just wanted them to do a good job – but you lied. You really wanted them to do better than most other kids – passing wasn’t enough – and you do this publicly??!!

Get off it already.

Around every corner of this problem is another problem.

I shake my head in disbelief.

You would think that some educators have never, ever, ever read a single article or book about the negative impact of high-stakes standardized tests, competition, extrinsic motivation, privileging some kids over others repeatedly, “shaming” kids through exclusion, etc. etc. etc.

Besides, it’s really clear here that you are saying to kids, “Really, all you matter to us is a number. We don’t give a damn about what your dreams are, what you hope you can accomplish in school, the questions you wonder about, or how hard you’re working. And we don’t care if you have made two years’ growth this year, or came in so strong already but seem to have made no progress. We just care about that little score you’re going to give us in the spring, and then we are going to use that score to reward or punish you after the tests are long over. And we’ll do so publicly. So you better do good, because just when you thought the trauma of taking the test was over, we’ll make you re-live that over and over. (smirk).”

Sick.

How to Make School Not Suck #2 – Awards

#5 Stop singling out the same kids over and over for school awards. You know exactly the kind of celebrations I’m talking about: a very small number of well-dressed, submissive, overly-willing-to-please kids get all the recognition in a class-wide or even school-wide award ceremony. If the other kids are lucky, they might get their names called out, but then some sit there never having had the thrill of being publicly recognized for their gifts and talents. Do this: if you or your school gave out awards for the end of this year, ask yourself some tough questions: a) who were the kids that never got recognized? b) how many of those kids are from middle-class or wealthy families? c) how many receive free or reduced lunch? d) how many of those kids are white? African American? Multiracial? Latino? Asian American? e) how many of those kids have already had the privilege of “special programs” such as the gifted program? f) is there any evidence in your answers that you are, or your school is, perpetuating stereotypes and expectations for kids based on race and class?

If you know anything about how children build personal connections with school and develop motivation in school, then you’ll already know that the kids who never get recognized are the very ones who will decide to quit trying. When you reward everything they are NOT, and nothing that they ARE, you send very clear messages about whether they even belong in the school setting. Shame on anyone who does this.

And – we’re sending horrible messages to the kids getting all the recognition as they sit and watch their classmates’ eyes well up with tears and yell and lash out at students and teachers: You deserve praise and they don’t. And when they can see traces of racism and classism in those decisions (even if they can’t articulate it that way – my own daughter said, “all the kids who didn’t get an award were _____” – she knew), they can begin to adopt those same racist, classist beliefs about school and society at large.

And what about the parents of children who attend such events whose child never gets recognized? Well, they probably already hated school and you because they have read through this bullshit long ago. But you surely didn’t help things.

Every single child has something worth valuing publicly.

Period.

Recognize and reward the wonderful talents and gifts of every student and you will create a better world, starting in your classroom, school, and then beyond.

Stop repeatedly making some of your students Powerful and others Powerless in school settings. Rethinking awards is one place to start.

Besides, without knowing it, you might be publicly and proudly revealing the racist and classist practices that are already at play in your classroom or school, and surely, surely, no one would want to be caught in THAT situation.

New publications…

Two new articles:

Jones, S. and Enriquez, G. (2009). Engaging the intellectual and the moral critical literacy teacher education: The four-year journeys of two teachers from teacher education to classroom practice.  Reading Research Quarterly, 44(2).

Jones, S. (2009). Against all odds: A case study of one White, middle-class female teacher becoming an engaged intellectual. Changing English, 16(2), 231-246.

And a really cool book I have the honor of being a part of:

Jones, S. (2009). Jagged edges: A psychosocial exploration by one who “made it.” In (Van Galen, J.A. & Dempsey, V.O., Eds.) Trajectories: The social and educational mobility of education scholars from poor and working class backgrounds. The Netherlands: Sense Publishers.

How to Make School Not Suck #1

I’m aching to write a book called “School Sucks,” but I don’t want to be too negative, you know? I mean I am an education professor, surely I should not be preaching about how much school sucks, right? Surely I should be the person waving a banner recruiting people in, being a cheerleader for schools, teachers, education, and schools, right? On the other hand, school does – in many cases – suck. It sucks as a kid when you’re stuck in a chair and get yelled at by the teacher for falling off it after a couple hours of test preparation madness; it sucks as a teacher when you’re finally doing some cool stuff with your kids and the principal comes in and wants to know what standards you’re covering; it sucks as a principal when you want your teachers to do what’s best for kids but the district office will punish you if you don’t meet AYP; it sucks as a parent watching day after day go by knowing that your kid is going off to a place where kids are expected to behave like robots, learn their math facts like computers, follow rules like – well, who follows rules??; it sucks to be a kid and go to  a place every day where you’re not expected to be like a kid at all who would prefer curiosity, experimentation, play, humor, physical movement, friendship, nurturing, kindness, and un-sucki-ness.

So I’ve tried to make the title a little more positive – a little nicer for those who may never read a book called “School Sucks.”

I don’t know if or when it’ll ever become a book, so I decided just to share some of my random thoughts about some things that make school suck for kids here, especially since a friend told me he wouldn’t respect me if I didn’t get started on this project immediately. So here’s my eensy weensy start…

#1
Stop smiling so much at the kids with nice clothes.
You know it happens, the kids who dress “nice,” or as some kids might say, like “preps,” “jocks,” “stuck-ups,” “teacher’s pets,” or “rich kids,” get all the positive attention even when they don’t deserve it. Even when they come to class late, don’t do a good job on their homework, whisper mean things to kids on the playground, and secretly exclude the kids with the not-so-nice clothes, the kids with nice clothes still get treated nice. Stop doing it! This makes school suck for kids who don’t want those stupid clothes, don’t have money for those clothes, or who are trying everything they can to get those clothes. Even kindergarteners notice when the well-dressed kids get all the attention. Stop it. Besides – without even knowing it, you might be promoting materialism and consumerism just by rewarding those who pay big bucks for cheaply made clothing in sweatshops and other subpar working conditions across the globe with your smile and special attention. Smile more at everyone – make school not suck.

#2
Stop gushing over kids who went on exotic trips during spring break.
It sucks, I know, seeing seven and eight year olds trot around the globe like nobody’s business, seeing things in real life that you’ve only seen in books or on television. But stop gushing over it, alright? All this gushing makes school suck for kids who went to a babysitter’s house and thought they had a ball all week until you made a big deal about the trip to Paris little Lucy went on. Make everyone’s spring, summer, fall, and winter breaks seem cool, valuable, educational, and admirable – not just the kids who happen to have been born in a family that can afford to go on expensive vacations. Besides – without even knowing it, you might be promoting an elitist and colonial attitude toward “others” around the globe who are assumed to be there for us middle-class Americans to gaze upon and wonder about. Gush over everyone’s fun and sorrow over school breaks – make school not suck.

#3
Stop saying things like, “He’s never even been to the zoo!”
What kind of school God made the zoo the pinnacle of all experiences that will magically make all our academic dreams come true? It really sucks when all the cool things you’ve done with your family don’t seem to matter to anyone and all that really matters is if you’ve seen caged up animals who are in fake habitats and gawked at all day by well-dressed families trying to do everything they can to give their kid an advantage in school. Besides – without even knowing it, you might be promoting the idea that animals are put on earth to be controlled by humans and to become humans’ entertainment as they live their lives in captivity. Find educational reasons to value everyone’s home experiences – make school not suck.

#4
Stop announcing the names of kids who still haven’t brought in field trip money.
This REALLY makes school suck for kids whose families are barely surviving and don’t have the money for life’s necessities, much less the $6.00 fee to go to the zoo where they keep animals in captivity and we gawk at them for our entertainment. Here’s the thing – if out-of-school experiences mean so much to educational success (and I would agree here that this is true), then tell your school and district to stop wasting millions on test prep materials and testing materials and use that money to pay for field trips that mean so much to educational success. Or, find lots of free field trips to go on. Or, use public transportation so the cost is lower. Or, convince your principal to create a fund that pays for families who can’t afford it (without announcing it). Or, have an open conversation with your students about the fact that because we live in a society that inequitably distributes economic resources, we expect that different families will be able to pay different amounts for field trips and that sometimes means that families are not able to pay anything at one time or another. No big deal. The big deal, in fact, is that our society should make sure it has decent paying jobs for everyone so that everyone could afford the field trip fees. THAT would make school not suck for the kids who don’t have the money to pay and can’t stand the humiliation and shame that comes along with not having the money to pay and go home angry at their parents because they don’t have the money to pay.

#5
Make field day free for all students! At a middle school in Northport, AL, students had to pay $10.00 each to participate in the end of the year field day; those who didn’t or couldn’t bring money were sentenced to study hall. What were organizers thinking when they made these decisions? Field day doesn’t cost anything, but even if there were expenses involved, how could anyone think it would be right to keep non-paying students inside? I’ll be circulating a petition to make Field Day free for all.

#6
Stop privileging school athletes by giving them a day off of school for “athletic day.” While the middle school athletes spent a day at Alabama Adventure Amusement Park, non-athlete members of the geocaching club, chess club, math club (etc. ad nauseum) stayed behind. Why can’t everyone in the school community be invited to go to the amusement park? Do athletes, and athletes alone, deserve a special day? Of course not! It’s absurd!

Day Two: More Strikes, and Some Activism

Hayden came home from the first day of testing and seemed mostly fine – she had a dance recital rehearsal and seemed content to put 100% of herself into dancing, so I thought things had gone fine.

Things looked even better when at 6:00 this morning I realized Hayden had slept all night, but they quickly fell apart.

“Mommy,” sniffle, cry, cry, “I don’t wanna go to school today.”

“What is it honey?”

“My stomach hurts.”

And so on and so on.

Right before 7:00 (when the bus is going to pull up) she tells me, “The test is sooo long and sooo boring, and we have to wait for EVERY SINGLE KID to finish, and it’s sooo long…”

and the best part:

“…and one reading part was so long and I didn’t like it, so I just didn’t read it and just guessed at the answers. I’m sure I got ‘em right though.”

“I’m sure you did sweetie…”

7:00

“Hayden’s not feeling well, so she won’t be riding the bus this morning.”

“But they have their big test today,” the bus driver tells me.

“I know.”

7:15

Hayden decides to write a letter to Governor Sonny Perdue (and plans to write one to Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton). She uses colorful markers and five pages (I’ll make a pdf of it at some point and post it here).

7:45

I am being very patient with Hayden and really listening to her. But I tell her that if she doesn’t go to school today, they will just make her take the test when she goes back to school.

“I know mom, but it will be a make-up test and there won’t be so many kids.”

Ahhhh….she has the whole thing figured out already, and she’s only been through one day of testing.

8:00

I’m getting closer to convincing her to let me drive her to school – but mostly because I’m starting to feel anxious about the meetings and other work waiting for me at the office (just being honest here…)

8:15

The phone rings.

“Where is my little friend?” Hayden’s teacher asks.

“I’m trying to convince her to come to school,” I say, then give the phone to Hayden.

Hayden tells Ms. Keller all about her letter to the governor, and Ms. Keller asks Hayden to include the fact that she doesn’t like the tests either. Hayden smiles and looks at me. I can see she’s ready to go – perhaps she just needed an ally from school.

“Stephanie, if she’s not here before 8:30 they’ll keep her in the gym [until the end of testing]“

“Okay. We’re on our way.”

We jump up, grab our things, and run out the door, pulling up in front of the school at 8:28. Hayden gives me a high-five, holds onto her letter to show her teacher, and tells me she’s going to kick the CRCT’s butt.

While she’s at school her teacher tells her about a website where you can submit a letter to the governor online. Hayden’s pumped. Before she goes to bed she dictates the following to me and we send it to Governor Perdue:

Dear Governor Perdue,

Please stop the CRCT. It is boring. You may think that it helps us but it doesn’t. You made it happen so make it STOP!!!

My friends Avery, Emma, Mason, Anna, Naiya, De’Andrea, and Wendolyn and Jimena and all of the rest think that the CRCT is very, very, very boring. And we had to practice for many, many days, and we shouldn’t have practice because we would see it on the real day!

Some of the test is really easy, but all the answers on the test might seem like they’re right, but they’re not. If you had kids, would you like to make your kids do a test and they’ll be tricked, and then they’ll be against you about the test? Because you would like it and they wouldn’t?

We should be learning about the earth, and how Earth Day started – and by the way, Happy Earth Day! And I think you’re a great governor.

So are you with me? Or against me?

I think that the CRCT is unstoppable, but I know that you will help us.

All you want to know is are we doing good in school? You should go to Oglethorpe Avenue Elementary School in Athens, Georgia to see how we are doing for yourself.

Thank you for letting me write this note to you.
I wouldn’t have done it without you, and I liked writing it.

Love,

Hayden Jones

P.S. I go to school at Oglethorpe Avenue Elementary School in Athens, Georgia. My principal is Dr. Dunne, my teacher is Karen Keller, and I’m going to tell everyone in my class and maybe my whole school about this letter and about being against the CRCT. I hope you come to visit us.

Five Strikes and I’m Already Out: Parenting for the CRCT (Georgia’s high-stakes test) Day 1 of 3

Parenting for the CRCT sucks. For weeks now, letters, papers, calendars, and other notes have come home in Hayden’s backpack about the Georgia state test that begins today for her first grade. We have had lists of things to do and not do including “stretching and breathing to help with stress test” – I mean, are you freaking kidding me? The kids wouldn’t BE stressed – and nor would their parents – if you hadn’t sent home a website address months ago and told the kids (and us in an official letter home) to “practice the CRCT every night.” Really?

So for literally, months, Hayden has been harping on me, “Mom, I have to get on the computer and practice for the CRCT today!”

“Sure, sweetie. We’ll do that. If not today, sometime next week,” (over my dead body, I mutter under my breath), “right now let’s go play outside.”

“Mom, look what I got today! We can play it right now,” she tells me as she pulls out a concentration game – of CRCT tips!

“Sure babe. Let’s have a snack first and we’ll get back to that,” I’m getting very good at being evasive…well, maybe all parents learn that on day one of their child’s life. I mean, what am I supposed to do, “Dammit! I wish that school would stop sending that stupid stuff home about the test. Look at the trees they’re killing! Look at the time they’re wasting! Look at the money they’re spending! Hayden, we’re not going to partake in this crazy game any more. I’m pulling you out tomorrow babe. Where will you go to school? I don’t know because EVERYONE has lost their minds! I’ll keep you in this house until you are old enough to go to college. No. Forget that. Everyone at colleges have lost their minds too!” (this from a college professor of course).

Finally she corners me.

“Mom. We gotta play this game. Now!” Oh God. She’s turned into a CRCT robot. An angry one.

“Alright sweetie. Let’s see that.” The sweetness is killing me. I’m ready to go on a rampage.

And we play the game. I refuse to even read the cards “Get me to school on time” – and play concentration focusing on the silly pictures on the cards.

We tie.

“Great! That was fun. Let’s get the chess game out and see how you’re thinking today,” and we play chess.

We never did look at that website.

Finally the week is here. First graders only have about 1 hour a day for three days (today, tomorrow, and Thursday), but they know the older kids go at it all week.

We haven’t made it to the grocery store and figuring out something for dinner before I go to a parents’ meeting about Hayden’s upcoming dance recital is impossible.We don’t even have what we need to make grilled cheese. Casey looks at me and mouths, “McDonald’s?”

Oh man. Strike one. I’m sure the CRCT police do NOT recommend McDonald’s for dinner the night before the test.

“Sure.”

Then I head off to a meeting and Casey and Hayden eat and head to bed.

12:00 midnight: footsteps in the hallway.

Oh man. Strike two.

“Mommy? I have a cramp in my leg. It hurts really bad.”

I have a cramp in my head, put there by legislators and test makers and test preparation materials creators, and district superintendents, and principals, and…

“Come here honey. I’ll rub it.”

12:20: still rubbing.

12:40: still rubbing.

12:50: still rubbing.

“Mommy. Can you just lay down with me?”

1:00: Hayden’s bed.

This can’t be in the CRCT plan.

Wait – is this CUSTOM MADE by the CRCT plan? Is it possible Hayden is waking up and having cramps because of the test? (my grandmother’s voice comes to mind, “So help me God…”)

2:00: Back to my own bed.

2:40: “Mommy?”

Strike Three.

“I’ll come lay down with you,” Casey says and heads to Hayden’s bedroom.

“I’m afraid you guys are gonna leave me,” Hayden says.

Really? She has not said this before. Is this horrible insecurity brought on by the SUPER-SIZE-TEST-ANXIETY-STARTING-AT-SEVEN-YEARS-OLD trick in school?

(Here comes my grandma again, “So help me God…”)

3:15: Quiet. And I’m thinking about not sending her to school, taking a sign and protesting at the school entrance, withdrawing her from school, screaming at the top of my lungs. But no, that would get me Strike Four because surely Hayden will wake up.

6:15: Casey gets Hayden out of bed and dressed. I hear them but I’m exhausted.

6:30: “Bye honey. Get up,” he tells me – just like every other day. 6:30 is my shift – her bus comes at 7:00 am.

7:00: “Mo-om! You need to come downstairs.”

Shit! That must be Strike Four. I overslept? OMG!

“Honey, did the bus come yet?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Okay, let’s brush your hair real quick. Here. Have another bite of this banana, and I’ll feed you the rest of the waffles”

We rush around like crazy – shoes on, hair brushed (sort of), bookbag, lunch box, and I have the toothbrush in hand when the bus pulls up (lucky us – it comes to the door), and she runs out without brushing her teeth.

Strike Five.

“Love you baby. Do a great job today and have fun!”

Ugh.

Between Security and Freedom

The driver’s seat of my red Datsun wasn’t properly bolted to the car floor. I think there were four points at which the seat had once been firmly secured to the car body, back when it was a new, brightly-painted auto on the lot, but now only one bolt managed to hang on. The result was a mixture of rocking and swiveling that made for perilous driving, though also for freedom in reaching into the back seat for a sweater or into the glove compartment for some gum, and all with the seat belt still firmly attached.

I sat at the red light on the corner of 34^th Street and Archer Road in my Datsun, feeling jubilant and safe. But why did I feel this way? After all, my forehead was still stinging from the blow received from the windshield when I braked too quickly for the light and my unhinged seat launched me forward. So why was I feeling secure and happy? I looked down 34^th street, to where Fred, my “older” boyfriend, lived and then up at the sky. Like Louise Mallard in Kate Chopin’s “Story of an Hour,” I felt the answer to my question “creeping out of the sky,” gathering in the humid air, and pushing itself toward me. A realization. An illumination. I said it out loud, “Free, free, free!” and then my face turned hot with shame.

My sister Jo was the original owner of the Datsun. As a down payment, she used the $3,000 my mom squirreled away for her from the government survivor benefits we received after my dad died. Like my sister, my brother Rick used his $3,000 to buy a car when he turned 18. Always the odd one out, I took my life savings and went off to the University of Florida. A car or a college education.

In a beautiful twist, my sister’s Datsun became my college graduation gift from my whole family. Rick agreed to sell Jo his old car cheaply, so Jo gave the Datsun to my mom and step-father to fix up for me. They took it in for some new tires and a tune up, wrapped it in a bow, and handed it over to me as I headed back to Gainesville to pursue my master’s degree. It was already on its way out; in fact, in two year’s time I would pay a scrap dealer in Cranston, RI $100.00 to tow it from the street where it finally breathed its last. But the Datsun was a welcomed gift, an unexpected luxury.

Throughout my undergrad years my only wheels had been those of city buses or a bicycle. I lived far from campus-cheaper that way-and worked nearly full time at Captain D’s and later at the Cinema Drafthouse-turned out that $3,000 isn’t really enough to buy a college education. I got off of work sometimes well after midnight when the buses were already down for the night, so except for the occasional kindness of a co-worker who could throw my bike in his trunk, I rode my bike to and from work every night, miles down the unlit Archer Road from 34^th Street to Tower Road. This was always a dangerous trip, fraught with close calls with tipsy or ticked off drivers who seemed to view the presence of a young woman biking down an unlit road at midnight a nuisance.

When I started dating Fred near the end of my junior year, my midnight biking trips ended. Fred was five years older than I, already graduated with his master’s degree, and working in a real job. He began dropping me off and picking me up from work. I liked him, and I was grateful to him. I lived so far out, it was just easier, he said, to stay at his place.

It wasn’t until I got my Datsun and was idling at the red light on the corner of 34^th Street and Archer Road that it came to me from the sky, that it gathered in the humid air, and pressed into me with a heat of a shameful revelation: I was free. The Datsun made Fred less essential. I thought, “I don’t need Fred anymore. I will be secure without him.” I pushed it out of my mind, and shortly thereafter I pushed Fred out of my life.

Exposing a Fertile Stereotype – a narrative

Exposing a Fertile Stereotype

I know what they say about poor girls.
Tryin to get pregnant to keep a boy around.
Havin babies to get a welfare check.
Trappin men by tellin’em they’re on the pill when they’re not.
Hell, I was even in a hospital not too long ago when a receptionist started talkin about the poor girls around town who were taught by their parents to have “no morals” and to start pumpin out those babies as soon as possible to get more money comin’ in.
Of course that woman didn’t know she was talkin to a poor girl inside the woman’s body who had health insurance and classy lookin clothes on. She assumed I was like her – middle class or whatever – and hatin on folks without insurance or with Medicaid or looking for some kind of supposed free ride.
But you know what assumptions do, and they did it right there in the hospital when I was fumin mad about what she was sayin and she just kept on sayin it. Even followed me out to the waiting room to tell me she was raisin her girl different. She was the ass because she wouldn’t shut her mouth and didn’t know what she was talking about, and I was the ass because I was the very kind of girl she was talking about.
Even though she didn’t know what she was talkin about.
I don’t even recognize what people say about poor girls though.
Trying to get pregnant?
All my life I’ve been with girls and women doing everything they could to avoid pregnancy. Well, almost everything, since most of them still had sex. So, I’ll put it this way, the girls and women I knew who were having sex were doing everything they could to not get pregnant. And they talked about it all the time.
This pill.
That pill.
This condom.
That condom.
Pull out.
Watch the calendar.
Count days from your period.
Know your options if it happens.
Let me be clear here. The girls and women in my family think kids are just as adorable as the next person does. We just knew the costs.
Mostly we knew about financial costs like being out of work because you’re sick while you’re pregnant then being out of work because you’re in the hospital havin the baby then being out of work because you’re recovering then being out of work because your kid is sick then being out of work because the babysitter didn’t show up then being out of work because you’re just too damn exhausted to get your ass out of bed on time to go to work.
One day off work could mean the light bill isn’t paid.
Two days could mean rent is short.
Three days? Don’t even go there.
We knew the financial costs because every woman we knew suffered those. We didn’t know anyone who was salaried or got paid personal days, paid maternity leave, paid vacation.
We didn’t know a woman who didn’t worry too much about going in an hour or so late when a kid was sick.
We only knew women who clocked in and clocked out and was only paid for the work their bodies did during the minutes between those two times.
We only knew women who busted their asses on the restaurant floor, behind a bar, on the factory line, cleaning someone else’s house, over the café grill, watching someone else’s kids, poking cash register keys, dry cleaning clothes.
We watched our women come home off the bus, out of a friend’s car, out of a relative’s car, out of a borrowed car, out of a barely-gonna-make-it-but-it’s-my-own car and they were tired. Pooped. Exhausted. And they knew and we knew that still when the check came in or the tips were added up it wasn’t going to quite cover what it needed to cover.
It wasn’t gonna cover the grocery bill after all the bills were paid, it wasn’t gonna cover the field trip money expected at school, it wasn’t gonna cover the new shoes little Sammy needed after his toes burst out the front, it wasn’t gonna cover the drive-in movie she promised the kids on the weekend, it wasn’t gonna cover bus fare or gas or the small payment she gave to her friend who drove every day.
It never quite covered.
Something was always left uncovered.
Exposed.
Poor girls are exposed all the time to the harsh and judging world and their exposures are spat out of people’s mouths, “Look at her, now why on earth would you dress like that?” “What’s she doing with a boy that age? She’s just trying to be like her welfare queen mama.” “Don’t even think about dating her. She’s a gold digger if I’ve ever seen one.”
You’ve heard more of this spewing than me of course, because most of the time I was excluded company when these things were being said.
But my world of you-better-not-get-pregnant-girl and please-god-it’s-me-poorgirl-please-don’t-let-me-get-pregnant and oh-my-god-what-am-I-gonna-do-now weebled from side to side when I realized that some girls tried to get pregnant.
Rich girls though.
And I’d never heard you-know-those-rich-girls-only-tryin-to-get-pregnant one time ever in my life.
Never.
And girls that weren’t so rich, but had more money than I’d ever known, were doing it too.
Yep. I was stunned when I found out that those girls I never knew tried to get pregnant.
Shocked I’m tellin ya.
Shakin my head and blowin through my nose I tried to get a handle on this new world I was discovering.
Not only did some girls (or, women, by the time I knew them) plan to get pregnant, they made it a full-time job to figure out how to get pregnant.
Damn.
They should just talk to some of the girls I knew who seemed to know the secret even when they were tryin everything to avoid it.
But these girls are se-ri-ous. Fertility books, visits to the doctor, prenatal vitamins months before they even thought they would try to conceive, halting their alcohol habits, curbing their caffeine in-takes, thermometers, sex on certain days, calling in their spouses when the temperature was just right, doing all kinds of yoga positions immediately following sex, reading more books, seeing more doctors, getting shots, paying thousands and thousands of dollars to try to get pregnant.
I mean damn.
Again.
This world was so foreign to me.
“You mean you do all this to get pregnant?”
And they think the poor girls are tryin to get pregnant.
But poor girls are so strapped by their finances we can’t imagine a pregnancy, the furniture needed, time away from work, the long-term financial costs, the exhaustion after a double shift, the food, the bottles, the formula, the childcare.
Other girls, to my amazement, seem to have the pleasure and luxury of focusing on the “joy” of pregnancy the “joy” of nursing the “joy” of child-rearing the “joy” of becoming a mother who has the time and resources to make a room for the newcomer to buy all the necessities (plus) for the baby to take time off work to recuperate to visit the doctor without worrying about the bills to take the baby to a pediatrician who works in a colorful, spacious, inviting office in the suburbs rather than wait in long lines at the cold, damp, gray local health clinic to see the one pediatrician who comes each month.
I know what they say about poor girls.
But I think they got it wrong.
I’m 37 years old now and, after giving birth to an unplanned beautiful baby girl who is now seven years old and the love of my life, I’m still trying to avoid pregnancy.
It’s in me.
The fear.
The anxiety.
I have insurance now.
A salary.
Time off when I need it.
And the room for a new baby in the family.
But I know the costs.
And I still feel exposed.

I’m Baaaaccckkkkkk….sorta. A cautionary tale for writers

Hello out there!

After months (many months) of suspected carpal tunnel, rheumatoid arthritis, severe tendinitis…we’ve finally realized I have RSI (repetitive stress injury) from too much bad-habited writing at the computer.

I’ll post on it later, but until then, if you spend lots of hours writing on the computer and:

1. If you ever have pain in your hands, fingers, wrists, or

2. If you ever wake up at night because your hands/arms/fingers are asleep, or

3. If you have had to cut back your writing time because of pain, fatigue, tenderness in your fingers/hands/wrists/arms/elbows/shoulders.

You may have a very serious problem brewing and working through the pain may result in permanent nerve and soft tissue damage.

DON’T WORK THROUGH THE PAIN!

You may have RSI, and the answer is NOT surgery, steroids, or pain medications.

And the problem is probably NOT with your hands – it has likely originated in your neck/upper back/pectoral muscles, cutting off circulation to your arms and hands for a long, long time before you began feeling the pain.

Here’s a fabulous book. When it was recommended to me, I felt like I was reading about myself in these cases. It offers great recommendations for therapy (myofacial release, acupuncture, yoga, regular breaks/stretches, and strength-training seem to be working really well for me right now), and a very readable description of what happens with the body when it works in front of the computer for too long.

Between August and February I have been struggling to do any work/writing/emailing because of this debilitating condition. May have also included some depression for me too…thinking about living without writing was something I did daily during those months.

So don’t let yourself get to that point.

Beware of Ruby Payne…a great resource for school districts

Thanks to Jane Van Galen for posting a link to Scott McLeod’s discussion about Ruby Payne’s consulting work with school districts. He asks important questions, including whether schools should continue to spend precious money on a consultant whose work has been disproved for decades. Ruby Payne’s work is riddled with assertions that do not align with decades of research on poverty, and her “strategies” for working with children who are poor are based on nothing but her personal experiences of having never taught poor children herself.

And yet, her book has sold millions of copies (self-published of course; no peer review process like the rest of us have to go through to ensure trustworthy research and assertions), and districts spend tens of thousands of dollars for RP herself and affiliates to come speak to teachers.

There are many alternatives, folks. Much fabulous research on poverty and social class that researchers agree with and recommend to teachers and principals all the time. They’re not quick-fixes (like RP offers) because social inequities were not created overnight, but there are many instructional and interrelational approaches that have been proven to be in the best interest of children and families from low income homes.